A couple of blonds on vacation...

[Danny D]

Joe Rogan, Larry the Cable Guy, Rodney Carrington, Ron White, and many many more!

[PhillieFan]

Red Skelton

[FOOOOORE!]

Two persons of indeterminate sex and hair colouring were walking through the woods and came upon a set of tracks.

I like that, it actually adds a little [wink wink nudge nudge] to the joke.

A person of indeterminate sex and hair colouring was caught in a hail storm while driving [their] car, and it ended up full of dents. The person of indeterminate sex and hair colouring took the car to a body shop to get it fixed, and the employee decided to have a bit of fun. He told [them], if you want to save a lot of money, just take your car home, then blow hard into the tail pipe and all the dents will pop out! So there [they] are in the driveway, blowing hard into the tail pipe and nothing is happening. A friend of [theirs], another person of indeterminate sex and hair colouring comes by and asks what's going on. After hearing the story, [they] start laughing. "That's not going to work!" "Why not?" "You left a window down DUHHHH!"

[FOOOOORE!]

Rodney Dangerfield...

"My girl friend is so ugly, we both wear a paper bag in case hers slips."

[FOOOOORE!]

A person of indeterminate sex and hair colouring [wink wink] bought a large thermos, and took it to work to show all her friends of indeterminate sex and hair colouring. "What is it?" one asks. "It's a thermos" she replies. "What does it do?" "It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold." "Wow! What's in there now?" "Two Popsicles and coffee."

[FOOOOORE!]

A gentleman is preparing to board a plane, when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight. “This is exciting,” thinks the gentleman. “Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person.” Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him. Shortly after take-off, the Pope begins a crossword puzzle. Almost immediately, the Pope turns to the gentleman and says, “Excuse me, but do you know a four letter word referring to a woman that ends in ‘unt?’” Only one word leaps to mind. “My goodness,” thinks the gentleman, “I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another word.” The gentleman thinks for quite a while, and then it hits him. Turning to the Pope, the gentleman says, “I think the word you're looking for is ‘aunt.’” “Of course,” says the Pope. “Do you have an eraser?”

[Andy]

A gentleman is preparing to board a plane, when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight. “This is exciting,” thinks the gentleman. “Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person.” Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him. Shortly after take-off, the Pope begins a crossword puzzle. Almost immediately, the Pope turns to the gentleman and says, “Excuse me, but do you know a four letter word referring to a woman that ends in ‘unt?’” Only one word leaps to mind. “My goodness,” thinks the gentleman, “I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another word.” The gentleman thinks for quite a while, and then it hits him. Turning to the Pope, the gentleman says, “I think the word you're looking for is ‘aunt.’” “Of course,” says the Pope. “Do you have an eraser?”

[FOOOOORE!]

I take it Greg is NOT the GM quickly moving from board to board?

[FOOOOORE!]

Three men were working on a telephone tower - Ted, Bruce and Jed. Ted falls off and he is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, "Someone should go and tell his wife." Jed says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it." Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of beer. Bruce says, "Where did you get that, Jed?" "Ted's wife gave it to me," Jed replies. "That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?" Well, not exactly", Jed says. "When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Ted's widow'." She said, "No, I'm not a widow!" And I said, "I'll bet you a case of beer you are."

[FOOOOORE!]

A woman tells her husband she was diagnosed with cancer.
Her husband tells he’s very sad and sorry for her. Once they get to bed, the wife asks:
‘Honey, when I’ll be... dead, will you marry someone else?’
The husband thinks for a while. ‘No.’
‘Why not? Don’t you like being married?’
‘If you want me to, then yes.’
‘Will she sleep in my part of the bed?’ she asks mournfully.
‘I guess she will.’ answers the husband.
‘Will you replace all my photos?’
‘Of course not, I’ll keep the ones I love most.’
‘Will she drive my car?’
‘No, she doesn’t have a driver’s license.’